"If Music be the Food of Love."

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My neighbour banged on my front door at 2:30am on Friday last.

Can you believe that, 2:30am!

Luckily for him I was still up, 

and tuning the organ’s thirteen Melody pipes for the Regatta at Cookham on Saturday.

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I had to set off at ten o’clock that morning, as I had to be set-up, alongside the river, at 10:30am.

As I waited for the traffic lights on Cookham Bridge, I overheard two blokes who were fishing close by. You see, two cars in front of me was a Hearse and a Funeral Car, and as the lights changed, and we all moved very slowly off over the bridge, one of the fishermen stood up, took off his cap and bowed his head.

When the cars had gone, he put his cap back on, sat back down and carried on fishing.

His mate turns to him and says,

“Pikey, that’s one of the nicest and most respectful things I’ve ever seen you do”

Pike replies, “Well, we were after all, married for nearly 20 years!”

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The regatta field is just upstream from the bridge and alongside Cookham Sailing Club.

The sailing club is here, because it is windy. And of course, wind is something yachtsmen find essential to their sport. It is not something us organ-grinders need in great quantity, just enough to fill our bellows and blow our thirteen Melody pipes!

Last year there was far too much wind everywhere, even without the ‘curried beans‘!

This year there was not so much as a puff.

My pitch this Saturday was just inside the entrance, surrounded by fantastic veteran and vintage cars.

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I was in good company. 

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Just look at the quality (£), oozing out of these Bugatti’s. 

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There were two of these beauties just yards away from me and also the most incredible, irresistible and most desirable ’Bird puller’. (No sorry, I got carried away.) It was an extremely elegant and attractive (£) Rolls Royce.

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I set up my tent and unloaded all my music, beer, bunting, bacon butties and organ.

It was a good pitch, as my playing attracted people as they came in. I say ’people’ but it was really the children that loved the sounds and sights of all my clowns and especially my ’monkey’, or Furry Chimp, to give him his official name.

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When I’m grinding outdoors, I don’t always put up the tent, but here it acts as a screen from the wind, a shade from the sun and of course a dry place for the paper roll music, (and lady friend) if it turns damp.

But as Confucius say -

"Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent".

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This year, as last, I was on my own again. Even though I invited a couple of friends free entry on my pass, it was just Furry Chimp, me and dozens of happy listeners.  

What more could one want?

As I played, I gazed across at those perfectly turned out motors,

And I thought -

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My grip on corners is not as great as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things, even in the best of weather.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My miles per gallon is appalling.

But here's the worst of it -

Almost every time I sneeze, or cough.... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

It was very crowded this year. I think the glimpse of a bit of blue sky did the trick. As usual they had Dragon boat races most of the afternoon followed by the usual ’Duck race’. 

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You could ‘buy’ a numbered duck for a fiver.

Unfortunately, my duck number 70, stopped on the way downstream to ‘chat-up’ a few birds!

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As I realised I was ‘out for a duck’, I noticed that most of the young children in tow, also looked a bit bored at this mid-stream activity and it was only on hearing and seeing my organ in full blow that their interest picked up. At one stage I felt like one of those Punch & Judy set-ups on the beach. You know, with rows of children sitting in front on the sand.

It was great, and of course they all wanted to give the Furry Chimp a cuddle.

It was a most successful day, with everyone enjoying themselves and my charity collection tub was getting very heavy. I don’t at the moment have a favourite charity that I collect for, and here all donations were collected and distributed by Cookham Rotary Club.

As my dear friend Molly was requesting some more of my videos, I did have a go, but with all the activity, noise from cars and motorbikes, to say nothing of people walking in front of my camera, it was not easy.

Anyway, towards the end of the afternoon, as people thinned out I did get a couple of clips which, as they are not too bad, I shall inflict on you via YouTube.

If it looks as if I am talking to myself - I probably am - it comes with old age!

No. I’m usually thanking people for dropping coins into my pot, asking children not to poke the monkey’s eyes out or making sure they don’t knock the camera off its tripod!

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And this week, as you have all been kind, faithful followers - 

- you get a WOGOF.

“Watch one, get one free”!

No. 

On second thoughts, I had better change it to a BOGOF. 

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Hope you like both of these?

The reason I chose those two tunes, is that they are sort of test pieces, to make sure that your organ valves are operating correctly.

Well ladies, I‘m pleased to say that my organ passed these tests with flying colours!

Years ago, when I was a lad, everything was in ‘Black & White’.

It’s absolutely great now that everything is in flying colours.

Which brings me round to asking -

When you dream in colour, is it a pigment of your imagination?

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“If Music be the food of Love - Play on.”

(And I can serenade any ladies,
at anytime.

at UncB@BTintranet.com)!!!!!

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