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My neighbour banged on my front door at 2:30am on Friday last.
Can you believe that, 2:30am!
Luckily for him I was still up,
and tuning the organ’s thirteen Melody pipes for the Regatta at Cookham on Saturday.
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I had to set off at ten o’clock that morning, as I had to be set-up, alongside the river, at 10:30am.
As I waited for the traffic lights on Cookham Bridge, I overheard two blokes who were fishing close by. You see, two cars in front of me was a Hearse and a Funeral Car, and as the lights changed, and we all moved very slowly off over the bridge, one of the fishermen stood up, took off his cap and bowed his head.
When the cars had gone, he put his cap back on, sat back down and carried on fishing.
His mate turns to him and says,
“Pikey, that’s one of the nicest and most respectful things I’ve ever seen you do”
Pike replies, “Well, we were after all, married for nearly 20 years!”
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The regatta field is just upstream from the bridge and alongside Cookham Sailing Club.
The sailing club is here, because it is windy. And of course, wind is something yachtsmen find essential to their sport. It is not something us organ-grinders need in great quantity, just enough to fill our bellows and blow our thirteen Melody pipes!
Last year there was far too much wind everywhere, even without the ‘curried beans‘!
This year there was not so much as a puff.
My pitch this Saturday was just inside the entrance, surrounded by fantastic veteran and vintage cars.
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I was in good company.
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Just look at the quality (£), oozing out of these Bugatti’s.
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There were two of these beauties just yards away from me and also the most incredible, irresistible and most desirable ’Bird puller’. (No sorry, I got carried away.) It was an extremely elegant and attractive (£) Rolls Royce.
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I set up my tent and unloaded all my music, beer, bunting, bacon butties and organ.
It was a good pitch, as my playing attracted people as they came in. I say ’people’ but it was really the children that loved the sounds and sights of all my clowns and especially my ’monkey’, or Furry Chimp, to give him his official name.
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When I’m grinding outdoors, I don’t always put up the tent, but here it acts as a screen from the wind, a shade from the sun and of course a dry place for the paper roll music, (and lady friend) if it turns damp.
But as Confucius say -
"Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent".
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This year, as last, I was on my own again. Even though I invited a couple of friends free entry on my pass, it was just Furry Chimp, me and dozens of happy listeners.
What more could one want?
As I played, I gazed across at those perfectly turned out motors,
And I thought -
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My grip on corners is not as great as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things, even in the best of weather.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My miles per gallon is appalling.
But here's the worst of it -
Almost every time I sneeze, or cough.... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
It was very crowded this year. I think the glimpse of a bit of blue sky did the trick. As usual they had Dragon boat races most of the afternoon followed by the usual ’Duck race’.
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You could ‘buy’ a numbered duck for a fiver.
Unfortunately, my duck number 70, stopped on the way downstream to ‘chat-up’ a few birds!
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As I realised I was ‘out for a duck’, I noticed that most of the young children in tow, also looked a bit bored at this mid-stream activity and it was only on hearing and seeing my organ in full blow that their interest picked up. At one stage I felt like one of those Punch & Judy set-ups on the beach. You know, with rows of children sitting in front on the sand.
It was great, and of course they all wanted to give the Furry Chimp a cuddle.
It was a most successful day, with everyone enjoying themselves and my charity collection tub was getting very heavy. I don’t at the moment have a favourite charity that I collect for, and here all donations were collected and distributed by Cookham Rotary Club.
As my dear friend Molly was requesting some more of my videos, I did have a go, but with all the activity, noise from cars and motorbikes, to say nothing of people walking in front of my camera, it was not easy.
Anyway, towards the end of the afternoon, as people thinned out I did get a couple of clips which, as they are not too bad, I shall inflict on you via YouTube.
If it looks as if I am talking to myself - I probably am - it comes with old age!
No. I’m usually thanking people for dropping coins into my pot, asking children not to poke the monkey’s eyes out or making sure they don’t knock the camera off its tripod!
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And this week, as you have all been kind, faithful followers -
- you get a WOGOF.
“Watch one, get one free”!
No.
On second thoughts, I had better change it to a BOGOF.
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Hope you like both of these?
The reason I chose those two tunes, is that they are sort of test pieces, to make sure that your organ valves are operating correctly.
Well ladies, I‘m pleased to say that my organ passed these tests with flying colours!
Years ago, when I was a lad, everything was in ‘Black & White’.
It’s absolutely great now that everything is in flying colours.
Which brings me round to asking -
When you dream in colour, is it a pigment of your imagination?
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“If Music be the food of Love - Play on.”
(And I can serenade any ladies,
at anytime.
at anytime.
at UncB@BTintranet.com)!!!!!
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At least it wasn't on my Birthday this year! This year I enjoyed a fantastic family party on the the Sunday - and took the Organ as well. My poor arm.
ReplyDeleteI had a card from someone saying "Don't worry about being 70. It's only 21 in degrees Celcius."
My view exactly!
Great photos Unc, cheered me up while I am waiting to set off for my "op". The worst bit is not being able to have breakfast!!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed seeing the regatta again, it brought back fond memories of when I lived in Cookham and Maidenhead.
ps.. 70 is only 56 plus VAT.
Talk soon XX
One 'happy customer' is all I need to make my day, Kath, But looking below I see that I have cheered up quite a few. :D
DeleteThinking of you. {hugs} xx
Well, speak of the devil! So you ARE around and you ARE going to rallies ( or the like - I know it was a regatta) and you ARE being surrounded by fun-loving children. So all is well with Uncle B it seems. Liked the humour, loved the pics. Will watch the vids another day.
ReplyDeleteThe title song made me think of 'We joined the naveeee... to see the world, and what did we see? Was aw the sea'. It was one of our summer concert songs.
So you're 70 I assume. Well, you are as young as you feel. That probably makes you 69! Hee hee hee!
"As young as you feel."
DeleteExactly! My cake had the number '60' on it and six candles!
(True, I have a photo.)
Will reply to email when I get a mo.
Oh - you told us why you were up at that time, but you didn't say why your neighbour was banging on your door. C'mon, tell us. Or is that for the next post?
ReplyDeleteOh dear! I know I am a failure, when I have to explain my jokes.
Delete:(
OK, so they are not very good.
If your neighbour started tuning his piano at 2:30am, I'm sure you would go round to complain?
I don't tune organs in the middle of the night.
Sorry. :) Groan. He,he,he.
Yes spill the beans Bernard - was this to be a secret drinking party !! - so pleased you were able to have a rainfree day for your regatta - beautiful organ music - I have just played them both and my feet are still tapping - take care - Jane
ReplyDeleteHi Jane.
Delete'Beans' spilt in my reply above.
Do I hear more groans?
Glad you enjoyed my playing. Of course it always sounds better in real life. This is only recorded on a cheap 'still' camera. It's not a proper camcorder.
Cheers....B
I was enchanted by the serenades and especially loved the polka! I feel like I was right there listening to you and having as much fun as one of those children. There is absolutely nothing as unique as your precious hand made organ here in the States. So thanks for the outing!
ReplyDeleteAs always, regards to Wesley. And a belated Happy Birthday. You deserve good health and happiness.
Hello Marilyn.
DeleteThanks for your appreciation.
Actually, there are quite a few builders/players in the States.
Here's Bob playing his -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0ZWkEJau1w&feature=plcp
Cheers....Bernard
Wonderful as usual, it is a delight to read your blog...
ReplyDeleteThanks Carole. I'm glad you enjoy it. I see you have another 'name' today? :)
DeleteCheers....Bernard
I loved every bit of this post. Making me laugh all the way through it. Would have loved to have been there. Looks like a much better day weather wise than last year. Sending a wave to Furry Chimp. Hope your arm's recovered.
ReplyDeleteI guessed you would like it, although the jokes don't get any better do they? :)
DeleteActually Molly, my arm was aching before I started, but as the day wore on, it loosened up a bit.
It's much better now thanks. :)
Dear Sir Bernard of the Tuned Pipes. Not sure I can accuse you of performing miracles but even the churlish would agree you came within a hair's breadth.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blog, I love all the old jokes, they set me up for the day and allow me a giggle trying to translate them into Portuguese for my Angolan neighbours for whom all of them are new.
The miracle, Sir Bernard, was that as soon as I played your videos, my four year old and his Angolan chums abandoned Ben 10 showing on the Cartoon Network and clustered around my laptop. More turned up with the encouragement of the original crew and pretty soon I had a roomful of kids screaming in unison, 'Mais! Mais!' (More! More!).
You are now famous, and evidently well favoured, here in Angola. I never thought I would see anything apart from the threat of denial of food that would drag kids away from Cartoons.
I wanted to ask you more, where I could get such a machine, is it hard to play (I noticed you fiddling with your knobs), that sort of thing but my wife has just come in and demanded to know why I am sitting behind my computer and not on site supervising the builders so I must dash...
See below
DeleteI guess what I am saying, Sir Bernard, is that happiness in retirement for me would be a still functioning organ the size of yours, a restaurant full of enthralled and happy children and parents, grateful for the distraction, leaving big tips.
ReplyDeleteOnce my restaurant is finished, and Marcia, my wife intends to see that I get it finished quickly, you and your organ are welcome here for a holiday anytime you like!
See below
DeleteOh, and there is no shortage of real monkeys here. Not sure you could train them to pass your hat, they are more likely to eat it...
ReplyDeleteHippo,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your very kind offer of a holiday in Angola, but I am no good at all in the heat. In fact I have never even been to Portugal or Spain, and just like a ‘chocolate teapot’, I would not survive. Unfortunately for you, neither would a street organ. Well, they might survive in Angola, but would be very difficult to keep in tune because of the temperature.
Organs like mine are found all over northern Europe, mainly in Germany and France. They do have some in Italy, Spain and maybe in Portugal, but I have never heard of any south of the equator except in Australia. In the USA they are also fairly popular. They are played a lot in France in Cafes, and they always seem to sing as they turn.
If you can get on YouTube there are hundreds of videos similar to mine and once you get started you can get links to others. Who knows you may find a ’grinder’ in Africa! Although it is a huge country. Here’s a link to start you off - and no, he may look like me, but is not related.
ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WG-F6ALxA4&feature=plcp
They are all very easy to play. At my birthday party on Sunday, my three year old niece was turning away. That is all you have to do. The knobs on the side only select the tone.
Go to that link on the RH side of my blog under ‘Organ Links’ and click on Melvyn Wright.
There is lots there to see and - they sell organs!
Cheers…. Bernard
I have just swung over to Mr Melvyn's site for a very quick shufti. You're all barking mad!
ReplyDeleteIs there a membership fee? Do I need a sponsor before I can join the club?
Yes, anyone can join BOGA. I don't know what the fee is for overseas members but it will be on their website. No sponsor (or organ) needed.
DeleteIt looks like you had a good day and a great birthday weekend.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you explained about your neighbour because I was wondering too ;-)
It was Cherie. It made a change from all the wet and drab weekends we have had this Summer. You need to take things on this blog with a big 'pinch of salt' :)
DeleteDon't have to explain your jokes to me Bernard!! Nice to have a chuckle as I read them.
ReplyDeleteLooks a very pleasant day and the videos were great as I now know what the organ sounds like. I can imagine your arm gets very tired. Perhaps you can invent a bike-pedaly thing so you can sit and pedal instead of winding. Probably lose weight at the same time so lots of advantages!
Happy Birthday!
Ha,ha,Helen. You are always on the ball. :)
DeleteI have tried recording the organ many times, but I don't have an expensive camera and I've never been happy with the results, especially indoors. It is too loud. It is better to record outside as long as there is no wind. Quite a few organs nowadays are driven by electric motors. People just switch them on and then wander off. It's not the same at all, and is frowned on by 'true organ grinders'.
Cheers....B
I think all of your blogging friends should figure out how to make movies of ourselves doing the polka in our chairs to that rousing music. You could be the online Lawrence Welk! I mean that in a good way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan.
DeleteI have just been off searching to see who Lawrence Welk was.
The results can be seen here -
http://tracker-bar.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/clarinet-polka.html
Two, in B&W from the 1950's.
Cheers.....B
Lol Bernard oh I just knew what was coming with the response from your fishermen lol. My DH has just said you sound a character and yes you are lol
ReplyDeleteLovely music coming from the organ and I just loved your description of yourself as a car lol. By the way I love the capital of the world for rain on your sidebar lol. And last but not least when you have a spare moment please pop over and look what I have done, off to look out a flag to fly! ;-)
Hi Ann.
DeleteI can't remember seeing so many
"lol"s from you as here. :)
I guess from this that enjoyed it. Thanks.
I have popped over to see what you have done. Glad it's sorted.
Cheers....B
Good Morning Uncle B.....what a great video`s.....love the music!!....the description of you as a car fits me to on several points...."de lak is er af".....but that doesn`t matter......i dont care for that.....as long as we still enjoy life.... and as i look at your video`s your are too!!...all is well.......hou je taai...groetjes Francien.
ReplyDeleteAnd a Good Morning to you Francien
DeleteAnd it is a good morning here with blue skies and warm sunshine.
I'm glad you liked the music. Of course I only have a small organ with 70 pipes, nothing like those large ones you have in Holland.
I have to lift mine into the back of the car. It is big enough for me!
Hope to go out playing again at an organ 'get-together' in October. Hope it stays fine.
Groetjes...Bernard
I tried to do a reply to your reply to my last comment but the button didn't respond.
ReplyDeleteOh, I seeeEEEEeee. I hadn't connected the tuning with the banging on the door, or else I just imagined it wouldn't be loud enough to hear because you are detahced.
Sorry, sometimes I can just be very slow to 'get' jokes.
It's not you Foody. It's the way I tell'um.
DeleteCheers....B
OK. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the tunes. Very nice indeed. Liked the bits at the end too with the people by the water and the cows. Really, really good.
Thanks Foody. :)
DeleteNice to see you are still grinding away Bernard the leaky, sounds like you need a full service along with a new set of tyres and an exhaust:)
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to imbibe in curried beans maybe you would like to tryn these out ( I have already sent orf for my sample pack:))
https://v3.lolagrove.com/LeadPages/iProspect.14/TenaMen.14/Tena.167/tenamen.aspx?id=3478.246&channel=a&urlreferrer=https%3a%2f%2fv3.lolagrove.com%2fLeadPages%2fiProspect.14%2fTenaMen.14%2fTena.167%2ftenamen.aspx%3fid%3d3478.246%26channel%3da
Good Morning Angus the dry.
DeleteWhat can I say?
I may not bother, as nothing could anywhere near to 'matching my male profile'. :)
Just been looking at your war time blog.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the air raid shelter reminded me of the fact that my Father, before he went to war, dug out underneath the house with an entrance back and front for escape.
He installed bunk beds and made it as comfortable as possible for my Mother and the kids.
Problem was, the first time my Mum went down there she saw a mouse and never used it again preferring to take her chances. lol
Briony
x
Hi Briony.
DeleteGosh I'm sorry I didn't find your comment here until this morning.
Of course that wasn't our air-raid shelter in the picture. I had many photos taken in the back garden but Mum always managed to keep it out of the picture. I was too young to remember if we ever used ours.
They were always cold and usually full of water!
Cheers....B
Dear old Sandy Powell, like me a son of Rotherham. When I was a kid Sandy would do a show for all the kids in the district around Christmas time. I was always bemused by how everyone laughed so much. Sandy the ventriloquist whos lips moved. Plus the head and arms would drop off. He would get flustered. The humour of the situation was lost on me... but then I was only six years old.
ReplyDeleteMore power to your pen Bernard.
Mick n Mags.
Hi Mike.
Delete"Born Rotherham 1900" my book of Stars of Music Hall tells me.
That music above is from my huge collection of sheet-music. I also have a few of his recordings and of course you can still see him on YouTube.
Cheers.....Bernard
I loved your videos, well all of the pictures and descriptions.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda. I'm getting 'on a bit' now, but I do my best to please.
DeleteCheers.....Bernard.
But Bilbo had not finished.
ReplyDelete“I shall not keep you long,” he cried.
Cheers from all the assembly.
“I have called you all together for a purpose. Indeed, for three purposes! First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all……..”
“Secondly, to celebrate my birthday.” Cheers again.
Why couldn’t he stop talking and let them drink his health? But Bilbo did not sing or recite. He paused for a moment.
“Thirdly and finally,” he said, “I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT.”
He spoke this last word so loudly and suddenly that everyone sat up who still could.
“I regret to announce that - though, as I said, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END.”
“I am going.”
“I am leaving now.”
“Goodbye!”
He stepped down and vanished.
OH! :-(
ReplyDeleteBut of course Bilbo returned after his adventure ;-)
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Uncle B.... are you allright?? hope all is well!! greetings Francien.
ReplyDeleteI worked with Sandy Powell..... Hmmmm!
ReplyDelete"Thanks for your recent enquiry, but due to pressure of work, Monkey-organ blog has decided to ‘shut up shop’"
ReplyDeleteWhat a shame. I hope that whatever it is keeping you busy provides you with as much pleasure as I gained reading your blog.
Go well, Bernard.
Oh Bernard! Where are you? Sending christmas wishes from Scotland x
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to peek in, as I do from time to time, hoping to hear about you and Wesley. I pray you are both well and thriving. XOX
ReplyDeleteHiya. Just seeing if you are still about.
ReplyDeleteSorry my blog has been quiet. i will make more effort in footure!