Strange Verse and Wonky Stones.

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The year rolls round and steals away

The breath that first it gave;

Whate’er we do, where’re we be

We’re travelling to the grave.

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Sorry to start off like this, but...

Recently I had two readers who were fascinated by churchyards

and especially those with 'wonky' headstones!

There are plenty around these parts...

.....but not wanting to be too morbid,

I thought I could liven things up a bit

with some verse.

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Dorchester - Buckinghamshire

Here lies the body of Meredith Morgan,

Who blew the bellows of our old church organ.

No reflection on him for rude speech could be cast,

Yet he gave our organist many a blast.

No puffer was he, but a very good blower,

He could fill double ‘G’, but now lies a note lower.

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Floor of Dorchester Abbey

No more upon the mat will he play with pussy cat.

No more between his teeth he’ll squeeze her tail;

No more he’ll rub her nose against the iron bar,

For little brother Tommy’s kicked the pail!

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Cookham - Berkshire

We knew he was departing by the colour of his breath.

We knew the flower was nipping in the bud,

And the Doctor said the only means of saving him from death,

Was to stop the circulation of his blood.

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Ilmer - Buckinghamshire

Oh he’s gone for ever more has our darling blue-haired boy,

We shall never see our darling any more;

Like a dream he passed away, on the 93rd of May,

For he never died so suddenly before.

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Turville - Near Henley

I shall ne’er forget the morning that his spirit passed away;

It was early, about 10 o’clock at night;

The hens were sweetly singing, the ducks were making hay,

And the sun and moon were shining dark and bright.

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Turville's Windmill

And now he’s "gone before", at the age of 94,

There was nothing in this world his life could save;

So I’m going to the brick-field to fulfil his last request,

That’s to plant a bunch of turnips on his grave!

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Lady Astor's pet graves at Cliveden

PS - I just thought I should make it clear;

this is a bit of a joke,

those verses are not on the stones.

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