Always check the Small Print

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I have discovered that I don’t really need to buy a local paper anymore for the local news,

unless I want to buy a second-hand fridge, that is.

The papers are mostly all free on-line now,

although you don‘t usually get a £5 Tesco voucher thrown in.

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This weeks roundup

from the Local Rags included :-

‘Thame Gazette’ reporting that a lorry has shed its 5 ton load of onions all over the south bound carriageway of the M40 near Banbury.

The Police are advising motorists to find a hard shoulder to cry on!

‘Bucks Free Press’ carries a report that all three toilet seats had been stolen from the Police station in Princes Risborough over the weekend.

A Police spokesman said “This is very baffling, we’ve got nothing to go on!“

The ‘Maidenhead Advertiser’ reported that Angus O’Smith had been charged with murder, for killing a man with sandpaper. He pleaded ‘Not guilty’ and said that he’d only intended to rough him up a bit.

‘Thame Today’ mentioned that a bakers in Haddenham is refusing to disclose how much salt they put in their bread.

They said this information was only made available on a knead-to-know basis.

And from the ‘Buckinghamshire Examiner‘.

“An East European cleaning lady is taking her manager to court for unfair dismissal.

The company gave her the sack because it took her 5 hours to hoover just one office floor.

It turns out she was a Slovak!”

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But, I’m told, we are about to enter an even more exciting new age.

I was reading a bit in one of the ‘big boys’ papers -

“There is a massive opportunity for content producers and media providers to start to bring TV viewers into ecosystems specifically designed as part of the content they are watching, and deliver a richer experience. “

This means that if you watch a cookery program they will assume you are a ‘foodie’ and bombard you with adverts linked to food products.

The report continued -

“This sort of ‘Interactive TV’ is already here – is just doesn’t happen through your TV.” (yet!)

“Web and social media teams exist in marketing departments, and are focused on creating fans and getting people to watch the TV programs (and the ad breaks), buy the DVD, go to the movie theatre.”

I’m sure this is already happening on-line, as ever since I read various reports about the Concordia fiasco, loads of annoying little adverts on quite a few sites, have been showing me -

Cruise Holiday Offers!

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I don’t think I’ll bother this year, thank you very much!

And, I’m not actually very keen for buying things on-line.

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You see for me, there are just too many things to go wrong.

I’m one of those people who ‘attract disaster’ when sending off for things through the post.

Wrong colour, wrong size or just plain just

‘won’t work’!

If you get it from a real shop at least you can take it back, rather than having to wrap it up, cart it down the PO and pay for the return postage.

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The other thing that puts me off ,is having to punch your Debit card number into the ’bowels’ of the internet.

It’s bad enough having people watching you key in your PIN in shops and garages.

Actually, I now always pay cash for petrol, as the garage here in Bourne End was one of those caught ‘fishing’ for people’s card numbers and PINs.

I trust the ’big’ utilities.

Well you don‘t really get much choice do you?

Thames Water have just written to me to say next years Direct Debit will be £54 a month.

With the letter was leaflet from Oxfam, for ‘Aid for Africa’.

They said a £2 donation will provide a whole African village with enough water for a month.

Mmmmm,

Perhaps I should switch supplier!

This technology thing is taking over I fear. ‘Smart meters, smart phones, smart cards so that you don’t need cash anymore.

Where is it going to end?

Here’s another thing that could easily go wrong -

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“LG Smart Fridge – Launched at the CES show in Las Vegas this year,

the refrigerator has a health manager feature

to help you diet

which includes automatic re-ordering

from your online grocery account

(via bar code scanner),

displaying healthy recipes on the screen

and

communicating with a smart oven

to ensure best optimal cooking time.”

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What did I tell you!

The fridge 'automatically re-ordered'
an
'Oven Ready Bird'!

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When is a Parrot, a Parakeet?

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I have to admit that I don't really

know the difference between

a Cockatoo and a Parakeet.

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A little Mantovani number.

I do know that we have quite a lot of

these noisy, but colourful birds

in quite a number of areas,

including Bourne End.

I've been trying for years to get

photographs of them, but as soon as they spot you

they are off!

Just before Christmas I heard their

squawks very close indeed.

In fact they were next door, up in Norman's tree.

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I tried hard to zoom in on them,

but from inside my kitchen

was not the ideal location.

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Opened the back door carefully....

......and they were off like a shot.

Never mind, this below is what

they look like close up. 

(Not my photo)

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Monk Parakeets.

Wiki tells me they are also know as

the Quaker Parrots.

So now I have 'Parrots'

'Cockatoos'

&

'Parakeets'

to choose from!

The population in 2011 is believed to be around 150 in the Home Counties. The Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs announced plans to control them to counter the threat to infrastructure, crops and native British wildlife by trapping and re-homing, removing nests and shooting when necessary.

150? Is that all?

There are about 50, 

in the Cookham/Bourne End area alone.

I put bird seed out most days in the Winter months.

I scatter it on the ground,

away from the house in an open position.

(Just in case cats are hiding in the hedges.)

Wesley is not in the slightest interested.

He just likes a sit in the sun,

as he did this last Friday.  

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...until,

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Someone found my seed.

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"What are you doing in my patch?"

Wow!

What a difference a day makes!

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"Ah, good!"  "No ginger cat."

"But shucks! No seed either."

That's because Unc B. was not going to go out

any further than his back door.

I put it on the small table this weekend.

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I noticed all the papers are full of

all this cold and chaos, so for a change,

I have put up a wee video of the garden in Spring.

It serves two purposes.

Firstly, to cheer you all up and

secondly I wanted to remember my

next door neighbour who sadly passed away

in January, aged 80. 

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We had been neighbours for twenty years,

almost exactly to the day.

Over those years we used to swap cuttings and plants.

All those red tulips you see above, 

are always referred to as "Norman's Tulips".

He dug them up by the bucketful.

He is not forgotten here.

RIP

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