"Four Pigs Trotters ?"

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Today, well what’s left of it, is -

“The First Day of Christmas”.

I am reliably informed, as I am no expert on Church matters,

that these “Twelve Days of Christmas” represent

the ‘Coming of Men to God‘.

The culmination of the Twelve Days was the arrival of the Three Kings at Epiphany.

Try as I may, I have been unable to trace the origin of the famous song by the same name.

You know the one - ‘What my true love gave to me’.

Try, as I also may, I was unable to find neither the words,

nor the music in my modest collection of Carol Books,

even though they span a period if 150 years!

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What you will find though, from searching the web, is that there are dozens of different versions.

I expect that figure will get into the hundreds,

if you include all those from around the world and in different languages.

So, today, all you Lucky Lovers, you can expect, in addition to all those boxes you received earlier, ‘A partridge in a Pear Tree’.

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And on Tuesday,

just when you thought you had seen off the last of the turkey,

you can expect to have to sign for the delivery of ‘Three French Hens’.

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As I didn’t have the words and music -

and as I’m sure you don’t want me to go all through them anyway -

here is an unusual version for all you foodies.

"On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me;

One boneless stuffing,

Two breasts of veal,

Three joints of beef,

Four pig’s trotters,

Five legs of mutton,

Six partridges with cabbage,

Seven spitted rabbits,

Eight plates of salad,

Nine dishes for a chapterful of Canons,

Ten full casks,

Eleven bosomy maidens,

And ........

Twelve musketeers with their swords!"

If it sound a bit ‘Double Dutch’, you’re not far off.

The original song was in French!

Me? Well as they say in ordering a Chinese take-a-way.

“I’ll have a number four, a number ten and a double portion of number eleven”.

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"A Christmas Kaleidoscope."

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Well friends, another year has nearly gone,

and so, here is my little offering for Christmas Eve.

I hope you like it.

It is up on YouTube here, if you want to see a larger version.

Hazel was sorry about the spelling mistake (at the end) -

but she said her paws were cold,

after being forced out into the snow for a 'photo shoot'!

She said the proof-readers should have corrected it,

but they seemed to have had a bit too much Christmas cheer!. :)

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With love from Hazel, Wesley and Bernard.

We hope you all have a very nice Christmas

and wish you all the best for 2011.

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A Mixed Bag.

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I do apologise for the lack of Christmas music this year.

I have found a couple on YT but not really suitable for a mixed audience.

So after a couple of hours this morning, gave up and decided to link back to...

A nice little 26 note Organ playing "The twelve days of Christmas."

The choir of "St. Francis de la Sissies."

And from Australia "Merry Christmas you Suckers."

Now on Wednesday,

Angus was enquiring as to the contents of Hazel's box.

Mystery solved.

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CherryPie was thinking that Waitrose was too expensive.

But look here, excellent value for money in their "Essential" range.

(and no, I don't have shares in John Lewis)

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Kate was expressing an interest in my "High protein pizza".

It was topped with these!

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Mealy Worms - The robins just love them.

It certainly pays to shop around these days.

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A load of reductions in Asda yesterday.

Cheers!

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"Christmas is Coming"

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I thought of doing a few 'Cracker Jokes' today,

but I think that some the ones I dug up were best left buried.

These jokes are, of course only meant to be read once,

and after the essential "groaaaaan!",

are discarded with all the rest of the Christmas unwrapping.

OK. If you twist my arm....here's a few.

My dad used to work in a tiddlywink factory. But he didn’t like it.

He said it was counter productive.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

What does the Queen do when she burps?

She issues a royal pardon.

What goes yellow, blue, yellow, blue?

Nick Clegg on a spin cycle.

Now, how about this for OTT

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The ultimate in Christmas crackers.

From Harrods - 'Very Gold'.

Luxury gifts include MP3 player, £599 for six.

A few years ago a magazine identified the best,

– or at least most satisfying,

– cracker joke of recent times as being:

“What’s Santa’s favourite pizza?”

“One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.”

Like this one, perhaps?

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Lovely Grub - Nice and 'crispy'.

Now what was I going to blog about?

Oh yes, Christmas presents.

I got side-tracked onto Crackers.

Some years back, in fact I think it was when my Father died, I discussed with the family about not bothering with buying, giving, receiving, sending, posting presents any more.

When it becomes a worry about what to buy, and when you start receiving things you don't need or want (however kind the intention), I think the time has come to 'call it a day'.

So we did.

However, the lack of colourful pressies around the Christmas tree left quite a noticeable gap.

One day later, I saw a shop assistant wrapping up empty boxes for the Christmas window display. What a good idea.

And a way of using up those odd ends of wrapping paper from the previous year.

These empty boxes were saved from year to year and most years were added to.

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Here, in my 'closet', are last years waiting to see the light once more.

Not having any presents can be a drawback I suppose, but every year I buy myself something I have really wanted or really need.

No surprises any more.

But on the upside I always get a "Just What I Wanted" present.

The results of another shopping trip.

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"Dreamies" for Hazel/Wes.

Crystallized Ginger & Mince pies.

But what have I there? A new pair of slippers!

There once was a time when ties, handkerchiefs and slippers were something I could bank on being given!

I never thought I'd see the day when I bought myself a pair of slippers for Christmas!

Hence the glass of Ginger Wine to calm my nerves!

Hazel on the other hand had an interesting parcel arrive on Saturday.

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Smelt good too.

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"I Shop" "I Drop"

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I’ve never shopped in Harrods.

In fact I don’t ever recall going into Harrods, but,

I’m told that their Food Hall stocks virtually everything.

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Poor Bambi

Or perhaps you fancy a

Musical Ham Sandwich?

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This is more to my liking......

..... a good "Stinking Bishop".

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I think I had better rephrase that!

"I do like a nice slice of Stinking Bishop cheese. "

I am, at the moment, a Sainsbury’s man!

I went right off Asda and Tesco many months ago because of all the queues, blocked aisles, general hassle, and in the case of Asda, that awful piped excuse for music.

I venture into Waitrose these days, mainly for a warm and to have a poke around.

It’s nice to see how the other half live.

No. I’m not joking.

You can ‘bump into’ some very entertaining people in Beaconsfield Waitrose.

Wendy Craig

Mrs. (Paul) Daniels. - Oh! What's her name?

Pauline Quirk.

And I’ve also been told by my Post Lady friend,

that Cilla Black has just bought a mansion in Beaconsfild,

although I have yet to discover if,

and where, she does her own shopping.

But I digress.

Some weeks ago I noticed that Waitrose ‘own make’ cat food was not all that expensive,

so I tried Hazel and Wesley on a couple of packets for a treat.

I was fully expecting “turn-up nose” time.

You know, a dirty look, a flick of the tail and a slink back to bed.

But, no, they showed their good taste and polished off the lot.

What usually happens next -

- is that when you buy the next batch (usually half a dozen packets),

they suddenly decide to go orf it!

Not this time. They have decided that - Waitrose it is.

So, for the first time, this year I found myself doing my Christmas shopping in Waitrose rubbing baskets (I couldn’t afford to fill a trolley) with all those ‘retired’ stars of ‘yesteryear’.

I’m sure you don’t want to see my ‘weekly shop’, but here are a few unusual items I came home with.

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Just a few 'Seasonal' goodies.

"Fever-Tree - Premium Ginger Beer.

Waitrose - Triple Chocolate Biscuits.

and

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What have we here?

Australian liquorice!

Now I've always thought that liquorice came from Pontefract.

So this is a new one for me. I'll let you know what it's like later.

And of course the season would not be complete without......

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I would have gone out and shot my own,

but the deep white stuff put paid to that!

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