Keeping abreast of the News

.

It is generally thought that Marks & Spencer is Britain’s largest retailer of lingerie. However we are informed, by a M&S spokeswoman, (and I assure you that I cannot vouch for this being true), that -

“Only one in three UK women wears our lingerie."

"We sell more than 50 million pairs of knickers

and 20 million bras every year.”

Yet even Marks & Spencer could not deny that lingerie is an art form created and dominated by the French.

.

.

A relic from WW2 (1940's)

When we were at junior school no one had heard of the word ‘Bra’.

I can however, remember in the playground kids coming up and asking -

“If wooden cows have wooden ears, and steel cows have steel ears.”

“What do brass cows have?“

They would then fall about laughing when you said “Brassieres”.

Pathetic when compared to today’s playground humour, but thing were different in 1949.

And, by the way, what is a Brasserie?

Well there is one up the road in Marlow - and in an Orangery!

Up t’north they are called ’Tea-rooms’ for afternoon tea.

.

.

An Orangery Brasserie?

And as it's the so called 'Silly Season'........

A man suffering from amnesia was found wandering in the street by the police.

When questioned he said he didn’t know where he came from. So they took him to the police station, and, to keep him occupied, gave him a copy of the Sun to read. He immediately turned to page three and became very excited.

The sergeant behind the desk turned to his officer and said,

“He’s obviously a Bristol man”.

Try shoving an ice-cube down your wife’s front at night -

‘There’s the chest freezer you wanted.’ (Ken Dodd)

The ladies who live in Helsinki,

Are thin and flat-chested and slinky.

So most of the chaps

Prefer much larger Lapps.

Who am I to condemn them as kinky?

On the breast of a barmaid in Sale,

Is tattoo'd the price of brown ale.

And on her behind,

For the sake of the blind,

Is the same information, in braille!