"Ee bah gum. I loves a bit of history."

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Just before Christmas, I had an email from Sylvie telling me about how she had found an old song by Gracie Fields. 

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Sylvie said -

“When I was a child,  ’Fanny Fernackerpan’ was used as a kind of jollying-up name to get me to do something but I never realised it was a song, until a few years ago, I came across – something – an old magazine, perhaps, which had it printed out in a song format.”

So, before searching through my piles of sheet music, I thought I would google ‘Fanny Fernackerpan‘ and see what turned up. It appears there were several different spellings of this name, but all referred to either the Gracie Fields song or old 1930‘s expressions for being ‘finicky‘, ‘pernickity' or as Sylvie said more politely, 

‘Move your a**e’.

Now here are two old words you don’t often come across,  but our Mom was always telling us boys not to be so finicky as we poked around in our kippers looking for the smallest of bones!

My dictionary tells me -

finicky ['f?n?k?], finicking

adj

1. excessively particular, as in tastes or standards; fussy

2. full of trivial detail; over elaborate.

And what about pernickity? 

Well, digging deep into my Scottish Dictionary -

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Yes, I have a 'English-Scottish' Dictionary.

"pernickity"

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"She's far owre pernickity."

But back now to Fanny, or Fan.

Someone on the web said -

I vaguely remember Fan Fanackapan; I think it was my great aunt who used

it. I have to admit I always took any of these phrases used on me as

telling me I was being a ‘pain in the behind‘.

Another tells us -

Fanny Fernackepan has always been used in my family to get the attention of somebody who had wandered off from the group when we were out as in - 

"Oi Fanny Fernackerpan! Over here!" 

Now to find the name in a Gracie Fields song.

It didn’t take long to unearth it, as the name was actually in the title, but not a Fanny Fernackerpan, more a Fred.

The title is “Fred Fannakapan” 

and it was written and composed in 1932 by Reg Low.

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Gracie Fields sang and recorded this comic song, which is about a sister's new fiance who had been invited round to the family home for everyone to scrutinise  the poor fellow.

Can you just imagine going round to your girlfriend for tea, when all of the girl’s relations turn up to give you ’once over’? 

As with many sayings the general opinion seems to be that the name pre-dates the Gracie Fields' song, but no-one seems to know when it originated.

During my searching I also uncovered a poem by the late Spike Milligan.

"I am a mystery goblin. 

I'm Fred Fernackerpan. 

I wear one sock that's yellow, 

the other dipped in jam. 

I walk about the countryside, 

I walk about the town. 

Sometimes with my trousers up, 

and sometimes with them down. 

And when they were up, 

they were up. 

And when they were down, 

they were down. 

And when they were only half way up. 

I was arrested."

And here is a lovely old recording from 1932.

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Gracie sings Fred Fannakapan
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And if you want to 'sing along' -

FRED FANNAKAPAN 


There's been a bit of bother through our sister Mary Ann,
She had a sweetheart and his name was Fred Fannakapan.
She said, “I'll ask him home to tea, he'd love to look around,“
So all our family turned up to see what she had found.


There was Father and Mother and sister Mary Ann,
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan.
There were Uncles and Aunties and others of our clan,
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan.


Round the kitchen table they sat twiddling their thumbs,
When they heard the door bell ring they all said, “Here he comes.“
Father said “You look a gump, the same as Mary Ann,
Sit down and make tha-self at home, Fred Fannakapan.“


The family then questioned Fred as fast as they could speak,
How much he'd got in bank-book and how much he earn’d a week?
He didn't say a word, so Father said, “It seems to me,
The poor gump’s proper poorly, let him have a sup of tea.“



There were pancakes and pork pies and plates of beef and ham,
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan,
There was cold tripe and trotters and lots of bread and jam
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan.


Fred sat there without a word, as mournful as can be,
Mother said, “What ails thee lad, get on and have tha tea.”
He said, “My teeth have fallen out, I dropped them as I ran.“
And the only one who couldn't eat was Fred Fannakapan.


We finished tea and sat there looking like a flock of sheep,
And Mary Ann was so fed up she went right off to sleep.
Then Father said, “We can't sit here like images all night,
Let's have a drink and then perhaps the lad will feel alright.”

There was whiskey and brandy and port wine in a can,
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan,
There was bottled ale and bottled stout, enough to fill a van,
All waiting to welcome Fred Fannakapan.


Then we heard a knock and someone said, “Is Freddy here?
It's eight o'clock and time for you to be in bed, my dear.“
He said, “My Mother's come for me,“ and out he quickly ran,
And that's the last we ever saw of Fred Fannakapan.


--+--

"Ee bah gum. I loves a bit of history."

and a joke!


Fred, a Yorkshire farmer,
went into a jewellers shop in Harrogate.
He was constantly chewing.
The salesgirl said, "Can I help you Sir?"
"Aye" he said, still chewing.
"I'd like one 'o them theer rings".
"Yes Sir, wedding or engagement?"
"Wedding, tha nos", he said, chewing constantly.
"Gold or Silver?", said the salesgirl,
watching him chewing.
"Gold", he said.
"Eighteen Carats?", said the girl.
"Nay lass", he said.
"It's toffee and it's stuck in me teeth".