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Hectic days have arrived at last.
Two Weddings in the next few weeks,
to say nothing of 'umpteen' fetes and rallies.
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All loaded up and ready for the off.
Posts here may become a bit erratic,
and I'm afraid I may have to resort to my 'awful' joke book.
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A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’
The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.’
God said, ‘Say no more.’ Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, ‘Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.’
God answered, ‘It is done.’ All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, ‘Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?’
The cat replied, ‘Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!’
Two cats met in the street. “Meow” said the first cat.
“Woof” said the second.
The first one tried again. “Meow”.
“Woof” said the second.
“Cats don’t say “Woof” said the first one.
“Sorry” said the other. “I’m a stranger around here.”
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There was a young curate of Kew
Who kept a tom-cat in a pew
He tried to teach it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got further than mew.
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Back next week.....have a good weekend.
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...Well as long as you don't have funerals too!
ReplyDeleteHave a good time.
The last cat didn't do too badly. 'Mu' ('mew') is the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet. If I could be bovvered I would try to work out how to put on e in this post, but I haven't a clue. It's OK - don't show me, thanks. I don't think I'll be using it much in future.
Have a great time
ReplyDeleteCheers
Helen
Missing you already Unc!
ReplyDeleteGood evening Uncle B... Have a great time...one more for the road...
ReplyDeleteLittle Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.... Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to.. he politely asked... “Whatcha doing, Tim?”... “My goldfish died”.... replied the boy tearfully without looking up.... “And I’ve just buried him”.... The neighbor was concerned.... “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied... “That’s because he’s inside your cat...
drive safely...greetings Francien.
Enjoy yourself and have fun :-)
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Foody,
ReplyDelete“Two Weddings & a Funeral”. I hope I don’t get asked to play at funerals, but I do know of people in our group who have. :(
I too, don’t know how to print Greek letters, but there are ways of printing everything - it’s just finding out how!
Hi Helen & Kath,
Thanks, a good time was had by all, :D
However a long and tiring day (and two very hungry pussycats when I finally got home). :(
Hi Francien.
A much better joke than any of mine. :D
I shall have to change my ‘Joke Writer’.
Thanks Cherie, I did have a good time - just a teeny weeny bit too hot, but at least it stayed dry. :)