"Belgian girls of vast proportions!"

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THE Belgian politician poised to become president of Europe was last night dismissed as a clown.

Herman Van Rompuy faced a massive surge of opposition as other leaders began the task of rubber-stamping his elevation to the powerful new job of leading the entire eu.

Don't laugh yet! There's still a chance Blair might get it.

So the eu will at last have the supreme government it has wanted so long – unelected, unaccountable and, as even its own polls show, less popular with those it rules over than ever before. But what do the politicians care? They have the power, and we now have a government we can never dismiss.

But 65 years ago we did not despair.

Where there is life there is hope...my Granny used to say.

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There'll be bluebirds over,

The white cliffs of Dover,

Tomorrow, just you wait and see.

There'll be love and laughter,

And peace ever after,

Tomorrow when the world is free.

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I can add a few more verses (in jest of course)

There’ll be Swedes of charmless candour

Coming over to philander,

Spreading Left-Wing propaganda,

About wealth.

Belgian girls of vast proportions,

Who have failed to take precautions,

Driving over for abortions

On the Health.

There’ll be Spanish senoritas,

Jamming all our parking meters

With their miserable pesetas,

Don’t you know!

While Senoras do the Samba,

Shouting ”vamos” and “caramba!”

And believing that the amber

Light means go.

There’ll be men from Lithuania,

From Rumania and Albania,

From Tasmania and Pennsylvania,

I’ve no doubt.

So, dear immigration panel,

No more P.C. no more flannel.

Please protect our English channel,

And keep them out!

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