"Silly Season"

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Now let's see what's in the Sunday papers.

Police Ban Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Exhausted Budgie rescued at sea!

Australian Town bans Bottled Water!

Goose gets Bionic Leg!

Man arrested for visiting the Dentist Naked!

It must be the start of the 'silly season'.

So as we can't beat them we might as well join them.

I shall dig deep into my bag of "Ridiculous Rhymes" and see what we can find.

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Oh, Clara doesn’t cook here any more,

Since Christmas Day in 1924.

She made a Christmas Pudding,

It was very good, no doubt,

But she made it in a kettle

And we couldn’t get it out!

So we had to pass the kettle round

And ‘suck’ it through the spout!

Oh, Clara doesn’t cook here any more.

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I know a little village far away,

Where they grow new potatoes, corn and hay.

There’s a rippling little rill, that works a little mill,

And that mill keeps a-working all the day.

There’s a lot of little houses in a lump,

And a pub called “Magpie on the Stump.

But make no mistake… the thing that takes the cake,

Is the pride of all the place… the Village Pump.

Our Squire’s the rummest chap you’ve ever seen.

And he held a Temp’rance Meeting on the green.

He said: “You fellows here, are far too fond of beer”,

And he spouted like a penny magazine.

Then he ran down to the “Magpie on the Stump”,

Till we all began to take the blooming hump.

He says: “Water, that’s for me!”, so we all said “Right you be”

And we took him out and ducked him at the pump!

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I particularly like this last picture of a village pump. It looked to me more like an Late Tudor outside public convenience!

It can be found, just up the road from here, at Gerrards Cross.

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